How Can Couple Break Relationship Barriers?
Conflict arises in the very best of relationships. If there is no conflicts in your relationship, you should immediately get suspicious that something is very wrong. One person is a very good liar or worse, is in denial of his or her emotions.
Conflicts arise out of the differences in your backgrounds, experiences and personalities. When two people come together in a relationship, they will initially experience conflicts which are supposed to reduce with time. Admitting, facing and resolving conflicts is a vital key for a relationship to succeed. If you don't like confrontation of any kind, your relationship will collapse. You should be willing to discuss issues that causes emotional stress or conflict in your relationship.
Some people believe that any form of tension in a relationship is negative and portends problems so, they hide from their feelings and emotions. They harbour all kinds of emotional hurt and pretend that everything is okay. With passing time, these little unexpressed negative emotions become deep rooted problems that end up destroying the relationship. One day, a partnership may just make an innocuous statement and the volcano of building emotions will erupt. People don't just get upset suddenly, it takes time to build up.
There are some Christians who think that experiencing their emotions is a sin don't express anger of any kind. No matter how much their partner, provokes, offends or irritates them, they keep silent and fume inside. They never get depressed, scared or upset. They put up the image of the perfect Christian. This is very dangerous emotionally. Psychologist tell us that such unexpressed emotions may result in psychosomatic illnesses which are as a result of repressed and unexpressed emotions.
Successful couples realize that when they express their true emotions, they are helping the relationship to grow on a deeper emotional and spiritual level. Expressing your emotions shows you are human. Talk about your feelings in a none destructive manner. You can express yourself without hurting your partner in any way.
Learn to use 'I' statements Instead of targeting and attacking your partner with you statements. Tell your partner how you feel about what he or she is doing. Say I feel this way or that way when you do this or say "you are always unfeeling and uncaring, you always say things to hurt me."
Real and lasting intimacy can only be developed in an atmosphere that is strife free. When you face and resolve your conflicts quickly, you create room for love and intimacy, to thrive and grow.
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The second thing is to making God the centre of your life will place your relationship on the path of success. Couples who are God centered have it far easier than couples who aren't.
Recognizing that God is interested in the success of your relationship and turning it over to him removes a lot of burden and anxiety from you. You realize that you are no longer struggling to make things work but you are now depending on the power, ability and grace of God to help your relationship succeed.
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In a God centered relationship, decision are taken based on the principles of God's word. No individual partner gets up and makes a permanent decision without first consulting the oracle of God. God's oracle is his word which addresses every major issue we will confront in life. When you consult God before making your decision, you acknowledged his wisdom and give him too to operate freely in your life
You should learn to be in agreement. Learn to think and pray through every issue you face. Life changing decisions should never be taken in a hurry, without subjecting the decision to a period of intense prayer and thinking.
When you put God first, you live by his scripturally prescribed standards for you. You don't compare your relationship to others or influence and control the relationship. Your relationship is regulated by scriptural values and principles. When you put God first you will enjoy his peace and comfort in your life.
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